I come from a family with codependency dynamics. What it means: I tend to save.
I save people from their mistakes.
I save people from wasting time.
I save people from losing opportunities.
I save their business from perishing.
I save them from losing money.
I save, I worry too much about their success.
People who grew up in families where addicted people were usually adopting coping mechanisms to survive in an unhealthy environment. To keep your head above water, you have to fix the situation all the time.
This reaction to the circumstances is not a healthy one, because it doesn’t leave a choice to an addicted person to do what they please with their life. If they want to destroy their lives, they have to be free to do it. But.
But then the codependent family member comes and does not allow the addicted one to reach the bottom.
This way, people grow up and later try to save everyone outside of their family, too. It takes time to figure out that some people just don’t want your help.
In many cases, when people come to the coach, they are not ready for changes, they resist improvement, and they sabotage success.
As a person coming from a codependent relationship, I tend to forget that saving someone is a survival mechanism, it’s control. Sometimes you just have to let people destroy themselves. Even as a business coach, if this is what they want.
The art and experience of the coach is to allow them to do it. And I have learnt this art.